New Memories

I’ve written about new memories before. And I was given another one!!

I was really struggling this fall through all the new transitions. Kindergarten, a new daycare…all the things Kohen won’t do or I didn’t get to do with him.

All the three year olds sad to see their big sibs head off to kindergarten. The little brother who isn’t at home waiting for his big brother to be done school.

Every phase of life…every new thing…it all seems to bring more grief with it. The sorrow with the joy. The grief with the celebrations.

I know this already, but it still catches me off guard.

So one day, watching my kiddos rip around the playground at school…I saw Kohen. This little guy with super dark hair zoomed past me on his run bike. Free, uninhibited and so so so familiar. My heart just cried out “Hey little buddy!”

And that was it, my three year old popped into my world again. Just for a minute, but just enough to let me imagine the life I would have had with him. And I love it. I love imagining him zooming around on his run bike in heaven.

Free.